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Back in free agency: Colts part ways with Hankins

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  • Vor 2 Monate von linlybest gestartet
  1. linlybest

    A concept album is a whole CD made of a bunch of songs that all tell parts of the same story or are united via a common theme. Sometimes this works, while other times the "concept" only exists as the flimsiest of notions and falls flat on its face after 15 seconds.

    Plenty of bands are drawn to writing concept albums; they get tired of writing four minute tributes to sex and decide they want to get involved in something big and important with meaning and purpose. They forget that they're musicians, which means they're uninteresting and dumb and should stick to songs about fucking.

    What's tougher than a concept album? How about a concept album featuring nothing but covers? Because now you're taking a dozen tunes, written by a dozen people, and attempting to make them work together, even if they don't want to. And guess what? They don't.

    So when Tori Amos decided that she wanted to try such an album, called Strange Little Girls, people looked at her like she was crazy.

    Epic Records

    What, her? Nah.

    Luckily, she had herself a vision. These wouldn't just be covers, they would be retellings! She would take songs originally sung by men and perform them from "a woman's perspective." Maybe some misogynistic come hither song could be rewritten so that now a lady is telling some hot dude to be her bedroom toy. And if anyone could do it, it'd be an uber creative mind like Amos.

    She proceeded to not do it at all. And by "not at all," I mean NOT AT ALL. Not one song was rewritten, edited, or feminized in any way. Zebra."

    But lyrically and thematically? Amos didn't change one word of anything, killing the concept on arrival. Of course, it didn't help that many of the songs weren't about men OR women, meaning that just about anyone could have sung them.

    It's clear that Amos very much wanted this concept to work, even creating (and dressing up as) fictionalized personae who were supposedly the girls singing these songs. Sadly, this elaborate game of dress up failed to give these songs any real female point of view. Even Neil Gaiman's valiant attempts to salvage the idea, via short stories that conveniently explain why these women are singing, just cheap jerseys fall flat.

    For their debut album (also named A Flock of Seagulls, because they didn't want us to forget such a ridiculous name by only hearing it once), the band decided to sing about an alien abduction. That sounds doable, right? Especially since we don't know if aliens exist and what an abduction would be like. That cheap football jerseys would give the A Flock total creative freedom to draw up any scenario they wished.

    So naturally, they chose the worst possible path: not telling the story at all. Because words are hard, the story lasts exactly one song before taking a permanent seat to simply repeating short phrases time and again until the band's producer pressed the fade out button. Take a gander at the entirety of Chapter cheap football jerseys 2, "Space Age Love Song":

    "Falling in love, falling in love, SQUAWK whistle falling in love."

    You know, for a second there, I wasn't sure if he had fallen in love, and if it was for a little while or longer. Thank God he cleared that up. The lack of detail continues throughout the album, with aliens mentioned rarely, random and meaningless sci fi references thrown around with reckless abandon, refrains repeated ad nauseam, and the actual story wrapped up never. For all we know, they're still stuck on that ship, although hopefully the aliens have given the guy a brush and a copy of Sensible Haircuts Weekly by now.

    Perhaps Mr. Seagull should have attended a writing workshop or two and read the story out loud in front of a group of shy housewives and college students.

    Or they could just repeat the same three words over and over and over again. That works too, apparently.

    Near the end of the album, Steven wakes up (one of the few times they make it clear what happened) and we learn that he had a wife whom he apparently killed. So now he's an adult? Was he dreaming about being a kid? Because then there's a sequel album, Welcome 2 My Nightmare, which very much presents him as a boy dominated by bad dreams again. Sometimes. In the end, he dies and goes to hell, which is one of the few nightmares where they actually reference him. I'm starting to think that Cooper did not outline Steven's life story properly in between lines of coke and speed.

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